[0:00] Do you ever notice that you feel responsible for how other people feel?
[0:06] For keeping things together? For smoothing things over? For making sure nothing around you falls apart? And even when you're exhausted, it still feels hard to stop doing it or put it down. If that sounds familiar, this episode is worth staying with. This is part three of a short mini-series on energetic leaks. And today, we're talking about the weight you've been carrying that was never really yours.
[0:42] Hello and welcome and welcome back if you're joining us for this mini-series. I'm really glad that you are here for this one. This episode is gentle, but fair warning, it can also land very deeply. So, there is no rush and we are going to just take our time. Over the last couple of episodes, we've been talking about energetic leaks. The quiet ones, the subtle ones. And today, we're bringing it home and today's energetic leak is a big one.
[1:24] And this one often hides in plain sight It's what happens when you start carrying responsibility That was never meant to sit on your shoulders to begin with.
[1:41] Now, for a lot of people This doesn't begin as a problem It begins as care Yeah. And it starts as awareness and as sensitivity. You will notice when something feels off, when someone's struggling, when the atmosphere shifts in and around you. What happens is because you feel it, you step in. You hold space. You stabilize the moment. You try to make things easier or calmer. Now, not because anyone asked you to, but because you could.
[2:35] And this is where things start to blur. Because over time, what started out as care Quietly and ever so subtly Turns into responsibility And you don't just notice the emotion anymore You start carrying it, and this is big because you know i really became aware of this one particular night and it really crystallized it and clarified it for me i was on stage and specifically up in caloundra sunshine coast and it was a big room beautiful big theater hundreds of people like hundreds like the 300 plus, And as I looked out I could feel it I could feel the expectation I could feel the hope And looking at people's faces And people talking Some giggling Some very serious And you feel the emotional weight That people have brought into the room with them.
[3:55] And of course I did what I'd always done I held it. I tried to carry the room, to carry the emotion, to carry the responsibility for what people came there needing. Insight, confirmation, connection, whatever it was. But at some point in that evening, something was triggered, something got alerted, and something in me just stopped.
[4:34] I looked out across the room, and it was a moment, it was such a big moment. And I realized, like really took in a notice that there were over 300 people in that room.
[4:48] 300 people all with their own lives, their own histories, their own stories, their own griefs, hopes, questions, all of it. And suddenly it became very clear. I wasn't here to carry this for them. It was a shift. It was an understanding in the moment and in the energy and in my own energetic body. And this shift and when that realization hit, it's not because I didn't care, but because carrying didn't actually mean taking it all on myself.
[5:35] What it highlighted for me was that there had to be a different way of doing this There had to be a way that respected everyone in that room And not just the few that I'd personally connect with There had to be a way where I wasn't the only one holding all of that weight But where people were being invited to feel, connect and carry their own experience too, And this realization showed me something It showed me that responsibility doesn't mean doing everything for everyone.
[6:26] Sometimes it means creating the space for people to meet and be themselves And that's what this leak is really about Not a lack of care, but too much responsibility taken on quietly, automatically and often alone, For many people, this pattern has formed very early. Maybe you were the responsible one. Perhaps the emotional support person. The one who kept things together. And maybe in those roles and processes, you learned that if you stayed calm and collected, everything and everyone else around you would stay calm and collected too. It's through that recognition of that pattern, your system and your energetic body adapted. And of course as you've been listening in on these episodes in this mini-series you can see that this pattern is occurring.
[7:54] And that pattern is yes your system and energetic body adapts and the reason why they adapt because they did what they needed to do to keep you safe.
[8:10] And it's important to say this clearly no different to the previous episodes because it's huge and i've seen this and i noticed this a lot with my clients is that remember nothing went wrong you're not failing at anything it's just that your energetic body learned a strategy it learned a strategy to cope it learned a strategy to keep things going But over time, that strategy starts to get heavy.
[8:45] So, here's how the responsibility leak often shows up. You feel responsible for other people's emotions. For their reactions, for their comfort. You replay conversations, wondering if you've said the wrong thing. You carry the guilt that doesn't really belong to you. And even when you're tired, you keep showing up, because it feels wrong not to.
[9:27] If you've ever thought, if I don't hold this, everything will fall apart, then this is what we're talking about. Now, before we go any further, let's just pause here for a moment. And if you're listening, I now just invite you to notice your body. And I want you to notice what you're holding here. Not physically, not even in your mind, what you're holding in your body. Where in the body?
[10:16] And you can take a mental note. It could be a tightness, it could be a tenseness, locked jaw, heavy head, stomach, doesn't matter.
[10:27] But listen and notice your body. Notice what you're holding. And as we notice this We're not trying to fix it We're not trying to solve it And we are not going to analyse it We are simply going to feel it And here's something That often brings relief When people really hear this And let it be felt You are not responsible for how other people feel You can be kind You can be present And you can care deeply But you are not required To carry emotional weight That doesn't belong to you, Now for some of you, you may be really feeling a stir in the body Remember, it's just listening Just listen.
[11:41] And if this is resonating, remember This doesn't make you cold This doesn't make you callous It makes you honest.
[11:52] And so, this week, after listening to this episode and letting this sink in, I want you to see if you can notice one small thing that isn't actually yours to hold or carry. Just one. And as you do, and if you do, I want you to very carefully and gently put it down. That's it.
[12:22] Nothing more and nothing less so this brings us to the end of this short series on energetic leaks.
[12:34] We've discovered and explored the overgiving leak the blurry boundaries aspect of it all and of course today in this episode carrying the responsibility that was never yours awareness is the first shift and once you start to aware things can start to change naturally and that's really important now again if you'd like to explore this further you can take the short quiz about the energetic leaks at www.the inspirational soul.com forward slash energy leaks and of course as always no pressure just awareness helping you and if any of this has resonated with you it may resonate with someone else too so please feel free to share with any friends or family and of course feel free to leave us a message if this has helped you, again thank you for joining me for this mini series on energetic leaks and i look forward to your company next time.
