[0:04] Hey, and welcome to a special mini-series of the Inspirational Soul podcast called Soul Conversations.
[0:13] These aren't interviews. They're not lessons, and they're definitely not polished. They are simply conversations. Conversations about life, about being human, about the moments that shape us, challenge us, break us open, and sometimes help us find our way home to ourselves again, Over the years, I've had the privilege of sitting with thousands of people and hearing their stories What I've discovered is that underneath all of our different lives, we're often asking the same questions. Who am I? Why am I here?
[1:04] How did I end up here? And how do I find my way back to myself? So, wherever you're listening from, whether you're walking the dog, driving to work, sitting with a coffee, or simply needing a moment to yourself, I'm glad you're here. Let's have a conversation.
[1:34] Hey everyone, welcome back. This is Soul Conversations Part 2. And firstly, thank you. Honestly, thank you. I had no idea where this conversation was going to go when I sat down and wrote that first email. And as you're all well aware now, by the time you're listening to this, There was quite a few emails, but it was just all there and I really wanted to have these conversations. I knew that it felt important. I knew it was something I'd been reflecting on myself. But I really did not have any idea that so many of you would write back. And if I'm really being transparent, I didn't expect some of these stories that you have trusted me with.
[2:45] Over the past week, I've found myself sitting with a coffee, reading the emails and these emails have given me such a broad spectrum that, some honestly made me smile, other emails made me just stop and i was reading and enthralled and just full of compassion, other emails had seriously left me, staring out at you know the ocean which i'm grateful that i had in front of me just for five minutes afterwards so I could gather, recollect, after reading so many beautiful emails.
[3:41] And what I've noticed by going through and reading all these emails is something really, really interesting.
[3:50] So, the first conversation we had or we started was all about losing ourselves. But in this next conversation, it feels it's about understanding how it actually happened. Because when I started reading your stories, I did see a pattern. There was a pattern. A really strong pattern. And I think there is something we can all agree on and that is most of you didn't lose yourselves overnight. Okay? Life happens.
[4:36] And sometimes what I like to say is life gets busy lifing. It really, really does. And because of that, and it's by no fault of our own, but because life just happens slowly, piece by piece, you become who life needed you to become. And this got me thinking, you know, when I think about my own life, there's got to be at least or probably at least 10 different versions of Pete, over the course of the years. When I started to ponder this and break this down, I look at Teenager Pete.
[5:24] You know, Teenager Pete was the boy who stayed up late at night watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and then teaching himself the tarot, meditation and channeling, all the while while doing my best to make sure no one at school found out. Oh my god you have no idea how many times i have thought about imagine if that had, got out at school i was at a big high school when that was all happening.
[6:04] And i know for a fact if it had of i'd be a different version today sad to think that would happen but i honestly feel it would be true, but Teenage Pete was in the spiritual closet, no doubt about it. Then you've got the young bloke, Pete, as they're calling, trying to figure life out, and that's Japan. Japan provided a new place, new people, new start, a space to really spread my wings and really own some of the deepest parts of myself that I felt I had to hide. As I've dubbed it, I came out of the spiritual closet there. So, you know, that's a big one. And then I was like, wow, there are so many. And there's versions that were desperate to prove himself and.
[7:01] The husband, the father, the provider, the speaker, the channeler, the teacher, the mentor, the guy building businesses, because I've done more than one. The guy constantly talking to all of his invisible friends. You know, the guy needing to keep showing people that energy is real and then there is something more to life. There's the guy who is simply trying not to screw everything up. Then there's the guy carrying pressure that all those that I just talked about created but nobody else could really see. And if I'm being honest, there have been times where I have looked in the mirror and thought, which one is actually me?
[8:14] Because sometimes we get so busy being the role that we forget the person underneath. And it makes you think. It makes you reflect. And this is where I could really feel and relate to some of what was written, by some people who replied to my emails.
[8:47] One of the replies that really struck me came from someone who said this. I've been a carer since I was 18. And I just sat there for a moment. 18, seriously, 18, Think about that An entire adult life Spent looking after everyone else, And then another woman wrote That she'd spent years caring for her children, Then caring for her partner Then caring for her daughter And somewhere along the way, she realized she'd never actually got to discover who she was.
[9:43] And I found myself thinking, how many people are relating and living that same story? Now, I'm not talking about like the exact same circumstances like those particular people had, but this is the pattern and the space where you become what everybody else needs. And then one day you realize you've never actually stopped long enough to ask what you need. So it makes me wonder how many people listening right now have become so good at being needed that they didn't know or they don't know who they are without it. I wonder how many people listening have spent so much time solving everybody else's problems that they haven't sat with their own for years.
[10:50] I wonder if that's why silence can be and feel so uncomfortable at times. It makes me also ponder that this is possibly why, it can be hard for some people to actually relax, relax take time for themselves without feeling guilty or, even properly receive something, you know the one you know the type if if you heard that i know you would have really heard that last part, it's and you know the one i'm talking about like about receiving the one where someone might say thank you to you or acknowledge something they might want to try and give you something for thanks. But that's where you start to pass it off or you're saying, hey, that's not necessary. And you do all these things as if it's what you have been doing or what you did do is normal. And therefore, you tell yourself you don't need it or you don't deserve the thank you All the praise.
[12:08] Because when we slow down And give ourselves space, In that quiet place The noise really does stop And that's when, we finally hear ourselves rules.
[12:34] I saw this happen firsthand with some of the conversations in the emails as well, and I loved it. One woman wrote to me about finally speaking her truth after years of carrying childhood trauma.
[12:58] And again, I cannot say thank you enough for trusting me with that story, Another one that I read said I am learning who I am And I'm meeting her for the first time I tell you what, that one, that sentence that has stayed with me. I've got a smile on my face reading that one again. It has stayed with me. I love that so much. Meeting her for the first time. Honestly, how beautiful is that to recognize? And I'm not talking about not finding herself and not fixing herself, but meeting herself. Meeting herself as though she's been there all along, waiting, patiently waiting for the introduction.
[14:13] And it got me thinking because I even had a similar experience only a couple of weeks ago. And I will confess that when this did happen, it took a little bit to acknowledge. But this and reading that statement where this lady acknowledged meeting her, self, it made me realize there was something in it. And for me where this was it was you know after some journaling uh and some deep diving so but i had realized that i was, stepping into a space which is now by the way this is this is all the now and this is part of these deeper conversations, but i had realized i was stepping into this space and as I am, that my 19-year-old self had already prepared for me this space. Now, I know this is a little bit of a mind bender, but bear with me. So, the whole premise here is it's not so much about what it is, but it's about understanding, acknowledging and feeling that something from that long ago.
[15:40] That version of me, that 19-year-old version of me had unknowingly created what, has now become a centerpiece of what I do today. And in that moment and upon that reflection and reading that statement before, it just gave me so much appreciation for him, that version of myself, that 19-year-old version. And it's almost like I can see him in my mind, smiling me going, hey, now you got it. And when I have that picture and version in my mind, all I do is have so much gratitude. And I do, I catch myself saying thanks to him. Because something back there, he knew that I was going to need this at this point in time.
[16:42] And I know that's deep, but this is part of these conversations and when you get to this point, you have that little bit of quiet space. These are some of the things that you can start to see and understand.
[16:57] And so, of course, this prompted me to look further. And you know what's interesting? When I was looking at this and I pulled back and looked at all the emails, what was interesting is that a lot of the people who wrote to me weren't talking about goals. They weren't talking about success They weren't even talking about achievements, But they were talking about feeling disconnected From something deeper.
[17:36] Now, that could be a whole range of different things for different people. And I'd encourage you now just to reflect on that for yourself in this moment. If you're feeling disconnected from something deeper, what do you feel that is for you? For some people It's a quiet voice, Could be a knowing, Could be a connection, Spirit Soul All.
[18:31] Whatever word resonates with you, that's what's important. And I wonder if, you know, feeling this disconnection and feeling disconnected from ourselves, we often become disconnected from that deeper relationship as a consequence. But it's interesting because maybe the soul never forgets. And for me personally, I believe in that a lot. I truly do believe that the soul never really forgets. So therefore, maybe we're the ones who get distracted.
[19:19] Maybe remembering who we are isn't about always becoming someone new, but maybe it's about removing everything we've piled on top. Now don't get me wrong I'm not saying we're going back and we're going to become this older version of ourselves because you know like I said my 19 year old version of myself, prepared me for today and I needed to do that but what I'm saying here is how many things along the way I've pulled on top, have lost that connection to that 19 year old version of myself, that could see things a lot more clearer, so it's interesting in that way and so it's amazing if we start to pay attention to possibly what has piled on top of us, and what would it look like if we started to pull or strip some of that away.
[20:27] And the reason why I talk about this is because I've had the privilege of sitting with this. And again, that's why these conversations. And one of the biggest ones of these for me most recently has been in my work and around this work. And as you know, like I said, I've been a little bit not inspired by social media. I haven't really had a lot to talk about or I want to massively share. So that's why I've been a little bit quieter. But this has also been happening around my work. And the reason for that is I had really started feeling the weight of my work more. And what I mean by that is the demanding pressures to really be the one to help connect and heal. And in amongst all those responsibilities and the heaviness of the grief that comes with a lot of it, I had almost forgotten the reason I sought out a connection to something deeper and greater in the first place.
[21:36] And that reason was for me. For me to explore, to understand, and to learn. Like, for me to map different aspects of this world and the next world. And simply share my insights. Kind of no different to what I'm doing now. And this is a part of it. But what I had realized is I had started to get wrapped up in what I believed, what everyone wanted me to be. And through that, you know, day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, I slowly stopped being the curious soul. I had stopped being the sole explorer that I consider myself to naturally be.
[22:41] And that's, you know, that's one of them. And then in and around it as well, there's the whole just being at home. Sounds simple, right? Being at home. Well, for me, being at home, it's a feat. Most of you listening, you've been following me for a while. You'll understand that. But it's quite interesting because at the moment, I've had conversations with people and it comes up and say, oh, wow, you're really busy. And i literally are going to say yeah that's nice but right now, nope i'm not that busy i'm really not and for me it's downtime so to give you a comparison because some people go how how are you not busy i'm like i'm busy, but to give you a comparison, so last month the month of may, I had my first flight, my first airplane ride of the year. Any other year in the previous 10 years, that would have been around my 35th flight.
[23:55] Another comparison is normally by this time, I would have already hosted probably around 50 to 60 shows or events by now. This time this year, it's less than half of that. So, that shows you a lot of difference in the comparison. So, that's given me a lot of home time. But it's not so much about just having home time. It's what having that home time has done for me. It's given me time and one of the most precious times I've had this year is, watching my son, Noah, play soccer. Now, don't get me wrong. I love watching him play. I was never a soccer kid. I was a tennis kid. My whole family is soccer. It's almost like skip the generation. But I love watching him play. But you know what i really love it's the car trips to and from practice and the matches, it's the conversations and the bonding time that we have in the car, and just yesterday at training it was a gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous sunset and.
[25:22] In the sky was just the first inkling of the crescent moons and just coming out of the new moon phase and of course there's the two stars in the sunset sky you know as it turns out there's planets it's Venus and Jupiter, And anyway, while I was at the training, I just stopped on my walk and I was just thinking, geez, this is beautiful. Just looking at that sky. I just stopped. I looked at the moon, the planets, and then the color of the sky. Oh, man. Like the orange, the pinks, and the purples, just stunning. And these kind of sunsets only happen in winter because it's just, you can tell the sky is so clear and it was just beautiful.
[26:16] And then as we were driving home, I mentioned to Noah, you know, what a great evening it was for practice. It was clear, finally didn't have rain. It was cool, you know, perfect. But what he said next genuinely made me smile. I know that I had a smile on my face. You probably couldn't wipe it off my face. And my heart was swirling with so much love because he turned to me and said, it really was dad. I couldn't help myself and I just stopped in practice. And I looked up and I took it in. The moon, it was just there. It was just perfect. Just that little bit, the sky and the colors, you know, of the final sunset with the two stars and that little wispy cloud, that just one perfect cloud right there in between them. And he goes, I was watching and just thinking how beautiful it was. Then I got slapped on the back to, hey, get back into practice. But he says, but dad, I just couldn't help but stop and look.
[27:33] And I was just like, it was such a unique feeling and like even now just speaking about this, I feel this moment and I remember him saying it to me or I remember his face and I feel it. And it's really interesting. When I'm genuinely feeling this moment, I'm not feeling it in my heart. I'm actually feeling it in my solar plexus lower. And believe it or not, that's even a deeper meaning again, which is beautiful. But I tell you, I didn't say a word. I was just in awe. I was genuinely in awe because he's 12, almost 13. But to be able to say that and have that level of awareness, appreciation, gratitude, like it just, it's not even being proud. But it's like the whole thing is I just let him describe the moment to me. And then there was this thing within myself knowing that we both saw the same thing in our own way and in our own time and to be able to talk about it.
[28:52] That's just special. And just having the time and space without the excess distractions and obligations, it allowed me to be in that moment with him.
[29:15] And maybe that's why these conversations have resonated, so much, not just to me, but with everyone who's read them or even listening now. Because deep down, I don't think people are asking, hey, how do I become better? I think they're asking, how do I remember? And they're very different questions. One assumes something is wrong. The other assumes something has been forgotten. And judging by the emails sitting in my inbox right now, a lot of us are beginning to remember. Maybe over the next few days Instead of asking yourself What's missing Ask yourself this What part of me Have I forgotten, And if you just sit quietly enough Maybe You'll hear the answer.
[30:37] Thanks for joining the conversation and until next time be kind to yourself.
