[0:01] Hey, and welcome to a special mini-series of the inspirational podcast called Soul Conversations.
[0:10] These are not interviews, and they are not lessons, and they're definitely not going to be polished. These are just simple conversations, conversations about life, about being human, about the moments that shape us, challenge us, and break us open, and of course, the conversations about the times that help us find our way home to ourselves again. Over the years, I've had the privilege of sitting with thousands of people and hearing their stories. What I've discovered is that underneath all of the different lives we are often asking the same questions.
[1:06] Who am I why am I here how did I end up here and how do I find my way back to myself, so wherever you're listening from and whether you're walking the dog driving to work sitting with a coffee, or simply just needing a moment to yourself, I'm glad you're here. And I truly believe you are here listening to this for a reason. So let's have a conversation. And welcome to Soul Conversations miniseries of the Inspirational Soul podcast. So welcome back. And it's nice to be back. To give you the context, welcome to the new little miniseries that A little bit of a time and break away from podcasting has led me here.
[1:59] So, to give you a little bit of context that I have been podcasting regularly for the last two years and for the first time, I just said to myself, it's okay to take a break. And so, I did. And in that time, I also had the privilege of hosting my Fiji retreat with a wonderful group, of souls who are a big reason why we are here and why you're listening and why we're going to have these conversations. And so, it's interesting for that reason because if you're already a part of my community, you're going to be really right here in the conversation. But if you're not, that's okay. I'll catch you up and you might be new to this. Fantastic. But the main thing is, I've been very uninspired of late and what I mean by uninspired is not uninspired by my work or uninspired by you, my listeners or my community. I've just been uninspired by what's out there and I've just found that I've, tuned out or I needed to tune out for a little bit.
[3:12] I'm finding that social media is not doing it for me. I've even found that I've gone off a little bit of Netflix and whatever else.
[3:20] It's just for whatever reason, it's just something there. Anyway, so it's prompted me to be a little bit more reflective and I made the decision, while being reflective going, you know what, it's time to have deeper conversations rather than keeping up on the surface. And so that's what's led me here. And so, as a result, a few days ago, I sent an email out to my community, anyone who's on my list. And for those who know me and have been following me for a while, you'll know my emails are very, very infrequent. I can tell you right now, I think I've had quite a few business mentors going, you know, you really got to pick up your game there. But I truly just work with the energy and I truly just work with the inspiration. And hence we're here but when I sent this email out the other day and you know what it was not a particularly complicated email, and I kind of sat with it and I was like let's have a look at these questions.
[4:30] And so I tried to keep it as simple as I could but it's probably one of the most more or more direct emails I've sent. And the question that I sent in this email was this, and this is important. I want you to listen to this if you haven't heard or you didn't get to read it. Here's the question that I asked. How long has it been since you genuinely felt like yourself? Let that sit for a moment. Let yourself literally lean into that question for a moment before I go any further. How long has it been since you genuinely felt like yourself?
[5:20] And what's interesting is that what happened next was something that I was not expecting. And to be honest, I have not experienced before in all the years that I have done with emailing, which is a good 10 plus years. What was really interesting is that when i send out emails you know i'm fortunate a few people end up replying you know who you are love you guys you're you're my constants, you keep me going on faith i can tell you that right now so i usually get the handful of responsible responses a lot of them one-liners thank you how that was great read oh i love that and sometimes i like to give people a laugh and so that's nice people recognize that, and of course you might start a little conversation here or there but this time round, instead of the usual within minutes and I genuinely mean within minutes, my inbox started filling up I believe it was one, of the fastest and quickest replies I have ever received in my emailing history.
[6:46] So that was my first shock because it hadn't even been gone or been sent within 60 seconds and I got my first reply. That really did shock me. Then the further shock was they kept coming in. And that's a good thing, right? So I'm getting these emails. More arrived and more arrived. And then all of a sudden, what really stood out and genuinely made me stop and pause is that before long, I was opening up these emails and I found myself sitting there reading story after story from people all over the country and even from overseas. I'm reading stories from people I'd known for years. There is even stories and beautiful messages from people who I only met last week from an event. One specifically, there was one lady, it was the first time she had ever replied to an email, even though being on my list for many, many years. So, it was amazing to receive these kind of replies.
[8:13] But here's the thing that struck me. And the thing that struck me wasn't the stories themselves. It was the feeling, the energy, the tone underneath all of them. Because even though I'm reading different emails and of course, you know, the details are different, what was undeniable was the underlying experience was almost identical. And what I mean by that is people kept saying the same thing.
[8:54] There were like literally comments like, I don't know who I am anymore. Or it would be like, you know what, Pete? I don't feel like myself. Another one that really did me was like, I miss me. Like, how much more raw and truthful can you be with yourself when you're saying, I miss me? Another one, like, I don't know when I lost myself. Like, these are just ones that hit you and hit you hard. And honestly, I found myself sitting there literally wondering what is going on. Like genuinely the amount of people replying was beautifully overwhelming but, I couldn't help but ask myself why are so many people feeling this.
[9:57] And so of course I ponder I stretch I reflect that's just what I do and then I go that little bit deeper on that little bit of a tangent you I start asking myself, is this something unique to this moment in time? Is there something more specific about this very period on our planet right now? Or has it always been there, but it's just the fact that no one is really talking about it?
[10:30] You know, my mind starts to go to things, are we collectively reaching a point, where we can no longer ignore it? Now, I have reflected on these. I don't know the genuine answer here. It could be a combination of all three. And you know what? It's kind of irrelevant. The whole point is, at least we're here and we're starting to have this conversation. But I do know something shifted in me while reading those emails. Like, I literally had to stop and pause.
[11:07] I, it was so, like, I was humbled. I was truly humbled because what kind of came through, I'm, like, literally, some were sad. Some did put tears in my eyes. Not kidding, like. And I was just absolutely humbled. I was also genuinely honored because there's one line that kept coming up and I'll talk a little bit more, but it was almost like, I've never said this out loud before. Thank you for giving me that space. And that, and if you're one of those people, you're listening to this, I can say, I can genuinely say and tell you right now, that is not lost on me. And I'm so, so grateful to be able to read that and just share in a little bit of your story and your journey.
[12:13] I was reading so much. Again, it was beautiful to read, but I knew that I was like, I just said to myself, I'm like, Pete, don't reply today. You're going to have to do this with fresh and like have multiple cups of coffee on hand to be able to work this. So I really didn't, I was taking it on and I was processing. So it was a lot there to process, but it was a beautiful thing to process. And then, of course, the next day with cups of coffee, I'll manage to sit down and get into it because when people take that time, I also want to take that time and show that appreciation to know that your trust, and that vulnerability is being met and not just being lost, into the ether of the internet. So, I just really wanted to point that out. But the thing that really did stand out the most out of all of those emails was this. I don't think people lose themselves because they stop caring. And to be honest, I actually believe the opposite is true to that.
[13:43] I see the pattern and I see this And I've also experienced it, Most people lose themselves because they care deeply. Now, that care can stretch across multiple different areas of your life. They care about their children. They care about their partners, their parents, their business or businesses, their communities. There's so much in and around that a lot of us are caring for. And what I tend to see and the pattern I start to recognize here, and again, I'm there with you, what happens is life asks something of them and.
[14:48] Life might be asking something of you. and when it does, they step up. You step up. And that's great. We do that. We meet and we rise to it. But then life asks a little more and then they step up again. Then a little more and a little more. And before you know it, 10 years has passed. 20 years, sometimes 30 plus years have passed.
[15:29] And what's so important, it's not because, you know, they got it wrong or because there's a sense of failure, but it's because we're just so busy carrying what mattered. We were carrying what we cared for. And when I step back from this and I look at this and all these emails, you know, maybe this is one of, the greatest paradoxes of life. Now, right? People who know me, I love a deep conversation. Here we are. Paradoxes of life, this is my lane because I love getting into this. So, sometimes the very things that make us beautiful human beings are also the things that slowly pull us away from ourselves.
[16:24] We are so busy trying to keep everyone else afloat and everything else afloat, when we don't even realize that that is the thing that is slowly drowning us.
[16:41] It's an interesting one. And again, I don't know. I'm just recognizing it. I'm seeing it. And I sit with this one and I'm going to continue to sit with it because it's just a little thread that I need to keep pulling and working at one by one.
[16:58] But then also comes another angle. And this came in from another email. One email said i just want to go home but nowhere feels like home anymore, you know hearing that how can that not stop you how can you not just stop hold your breath and take a moment to process that line, because i don't think that this person was talking about a house. This is a person that was talking about herself. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that maybe this is what so many people are actually searching for.
[17:55] Because let's face it, look around, just hear me out for a moment. Because I want you to take a moment, look at yourself and look at your life, look at your life of your loved ones in and around you, your family and friends. Because we can search for success, but that's not really what we're looking for. And we're not really searching for achievement. And I tend to believe we're not even really searching for happiness Maybe what we're searching for is home.
[18:38] And what I mean by that is a place inside ourselves That feels familiar again, You know, that place where you can finally breathe easy, with no tension, with no worry, no angst. A place where you don't have to keep holding everything together. And as I say that out loud right now, I'm wondering whether you've ever felt that. Have you felt that place, that feeling of looking around your life and thinking, oh, wow, everything is here, but something is missing? Have you had that feeling where you can stop and you go, I feel as though I have everything, but something is missing? Now, it's not missing because your life is bad or because you're unhappy, but because somewhere along the way, the relationship with yourself became secondary.
[19:56] You slowly and slowly over time start to lose that part of yourself and that relationship with yourself becomes quieter. It's such a profound moment when you can recognize it.
[20:15] Now, what's really interesting is that I know this all too well and I'm a big believer in life lessons, big believer in soul lessons, and for anyone who has read my first book searching spirit you'll know there's that very, specific chapter where i did feel that now i remember that so clearly and that was when it was not a pretty place, and it was getting to a point where i thought i was better off taking myself home. To that point where you believe that your loved ones, your spouse, your kids would be better off without you. It's not a great place to recognize. And obviously, it's not a great place to visit. And I feel like many more of us actually visit this place than we give credit or we talk about. But as I always say, I have that saying, you can visit, Just don't set up camp. That's the big thing. Now, that's interesting because I remember that was probably going back close to 10 to 13 years ago when I had that. And I swore to myself that I would never go back there again.
[21:43] What's really interesting is that I didn't quite get to the same level as that, but I have over the past three years realized there's been some very, very similar situations that I didn't recognize. I consider myself to be pretty astute, pretty aware, and I'm very good at identifying patterns for other people but I consider myself pretty good at identifying for myself but you know what, I missed it, I missed this one and I knew something was not right, I knew something wasn't quite there and it was very much that case of everything's pretty darn good but something was missing.
[22:34] And, yeah, I just honestly thought that, you know, what's going on?
[22:43] I was busy building my business. I was busy trying to figure out what the next way forward was. I was busy surviving. I was busy working for our house and to get our home. So, then I've realized even over time, I've come to a greater conclusion. I've been busy proving time and time again that this world exists, the world of spirit and energy. Every time I get up there, I'm having to prove it. And I was like, what's going on? Why am I doing this? And then even through that, I'm busy helping, which I don't mind doing. But as you can see, there's a theme, busy, busy, busy, busy. And because of that busyness and because I was busy in so many different ways, it was only later that I realized that I hadn't checked in with myself for a very, very long time. And that's sad because that's something obviously that I value and it's something that I obviously do teach and as well kind of preach, but it can get busy and we do lose that part of it, which is really, really sad.
[24:08] What was also interesting too is when you don't check in with yourself, sometimes other things will happen. But the beautiful thing is this year I have managed to pull back and so that's been a good thing and I really had to listen to my body. So I have been at home. I've had the chance to reconnect with self. I've had my chance to reconnect with my family, which has been absolutely fantastic. But it's just another theme. It's another theme that's coming up. So, I would ask you and ask you to check in on yourself right now and ask yourself how long has it been since you've checked in with yourself?
[24:59] Now, here's something else that caught my attention with everything that's been coming up with these replies. A lot of the replies were talking about loss. Now, this is not just the general loss, like, of course, we've got the loss and grieving of loved ones who have passed. But there was also talking about the loss of missing the person they used to be. Missing their spark, missing their confidence, missing their joy. But then what was interesting is because one lady wrote something really, really interesting. She asked the question of what if not feeling like yourself is actually a recalibration? And that is a beautiful question. And again, that's another one that made me stop. I'm like, ooh, now we're having a good conversation. This is where the conversation starts to get interesting. What if it's actually a recalibration? And it may be starting to go because what if we're asking the wrong question? What if the goal isn't to get back to who we used to be? And what if the version of us was only ever meant for that season of life?
[26:26] What if we're not lost? What if we're simply changing?
[26:36] What if we're standing between identities? What if we're in that awkward space where one version of us is ending and another hasn't quite arrived yet? Now, that feels worth sitting with. Those questions are worth examining. Because I know there have been moments in my life where I kept trying to force myself back into an old version of me. And this was also what I was talking about the last three years where I didn't recognize that pattern. And the harder I tried to stay in that older version of me, oh my god the worse it felt the worse it got the heavier it became, now it's not because i was in the incorrect version of myself but it was just simply because i had already outgrown it, and i just didn't know exactly what i was stepping into too.
[27:55] And it's very interesting because sometimes life will hold you there and it can be very, very hard to keep yourself in that older version. And I know for a fact over the last three years, there were points where I was going, what is going on?
[28:16] This feels like I'm going backwards. This is not feeling right. And I don't know how many times I have genuinely thought about just stopping. Stopping what I'm doing and just like going, no, I'm done. I'm out. Like I just want to literally not even just take a breather. I really want to step away. And this happens from time to time. And I do believe it happens in cycles and when we do grow. But those who have been around long enough, I always say that that towel that we throw in, you know, metaphorically, that towel is stitched into my hand. If you have a look at my hand, my palm has literally got a simian crease. And as my own mother said, it's like, oh, my God, looking at your palm, it looks like you've been stitched together. So, it is. It's been true. Like, I really have not very smooth lines. There are a lot of crosses and a lot of chains in my wrist line, in my palm lines. But what's really interesting is I always say it's stitched. So I'm like, I keep hanging in there and I keep hanging in there. But, you know, so it's that thing, you know, and it's like you've got to keep going about it. And you just sometimes it will reveal itself.
[29:38] But there's one more thing I want to just relay with what I've been finding with these replies. And that was the one thing that hardly anyone was talking about in these replies, was about spirituality. And that surprised me because clearly, like, that's my world, that's my jam, you know, the spiritual realm, but it really wasn't there. And of course it surprised me because many people have come into my world through my work through my events and, they're predominantly for spiritual reasons but that's not what was being written about they wrote about identity, belonging purpose exhaustion burnout responsibility relationships transitions, the spiritual conversation though was sitting underneath all of it not on top of it, and that was fascinating and maybe that's something i have been reflecting on lately is where does this really sit in our lives, because maybe spiritual and spirituality isn't actually about learning more.
[31:03] And maybe it's about remembering more maybe it's about creating enough space to hear what's already there.
[31:17] Again, it's one of my little ponderings and I don't know about you, but when I look at that and it's like, it's not about learning more, but maybe it's about remembering more. There is something inside of me that just makes that feel true. I feel that in my chest. I feel that in my solar plexus. I feel my whole body hum and come alive when I say that. It is like literally vibrating when I think and recall that statement in my mind.
[31:55] And it's just so fascinating to kind of go through this because there's so many beautiful things that I'm seeing and patterns that I'm seeing.
[32:05] You know, there's also been responses about, you know, where people are in everyday life, but they're not coming from people who are in crisis, not going through their immediate thing. Most of these replies have been written in reflection, and that's important because it's not necessarily where people have lost massive things in their life or where it's fallen apart on them. What struck me as so fascinating is many of the people replying have had very successful lives. They've got wonderful good families and careers and beautiful relationships and marriages, and from someone outside looking in everything looked fine and yet inside for them there was this question, is this really me oh.
[33:07] And i don't know about you but every time i come to that that question just hits somewhere in the body. And I encourage you to listen and feel where that comes up for you in your body. Because number one, it fascinates me because that's truth. That's truth coming through. And because perhaps one of the most difficult experiences isn't when life falls apart. Perhaps it's when life looks successful But you still feel disconnected from yourself, Now, that is a much, much harder thing to admit. Not just to yourself, but that is a very hard thing to even say out loud to people.
[34:09] Now, how many people listening to this have ever felt that?
[34:20] How many of you have looked around and thought Wow, look at all this, but I should be happy Or, so why doesn't it feel the way I thought it would?
[34:34] And the thing I keep coming back to is this. I don't think in this questioning, if you're answering as long as we go, when you're not answering my question directly, the most beautiful part was I really see people as responding to permission. Permission to be honest. Permission to stop pretending. Permission to admit something they had not even admitted to themselves, and maybe just maybe that's where reconnection begins, not with answers not with trying to fix or solve it not with another course, not with another book not with another strategy but with honesty, simple honesty the honest statements and sayings of this is where I am, this is what I'm feeling this is what's true for me right now, and if you can say that and you can be honest with yourself in that way.
[35:52] Now maybe that's the start and maybe that's enough for today that's all you need So now I'm going to leave you With the same question again I asked in that email, How long has it been Since you genuinely felt like yourself, And perhaps now An even bigger question Are you trying to find the person you used to be, Or are you meeting the person You're becoming I'd love for you to sit with that, because I know I am and I know I'm in this same space. I just want to say thanks for listening. Thanks for being part of the conversation. Please feel free to message, leave a comment, and I'll look forward to the next conversation. So until then, be kind to yourself.
