[0:00] Have you ever found yourself at a bottleneck in life? The place where you can't quite get that clarity about what the next move is? If you've answered yes to this question, then this episode is especially for you. So let's get into it. Thank you again for joining me on another wonderful episode of the Inspirational Soul podcast.
[0:29] I'm really excited to share with you today because this is something that has recently come up in the beautiful mentoring program that I'm doing. And it was very, very powerful, very, very insightful. And I thought, you know what? It's too good. I want to share it with you. So where this kind of comes about, and I've seen this through people within my community as well, is we will quite often come to periods in our life where we are like, you know what, what's happening for me and where I am right now is just not great. Now, you could be in a position of where, you know what, you've hit that point of, you know what, I'm unhappy. I'm just really done. and you might be going, I'm looking for that next step and still not sure what it is. So it doesn't matter where you are on that scale, the scale of like, you know, I'm done, I'm ready to make the move, but I'm not sure versus I know this is no longer working. I'm not totally unhappy, but if I'm not doing this, then I really don't know what I'll be doing. Therefore, you stay exactly where you are.
[1:47] This is an all too common occurrence.
[1:52] And if you're not careful, if you stay in this place, it can really start to eat at you, pull you apart, and even create a bigger spiral of despair and these deeper emotions of not being fulfilled. So, it can be a very, very quick process and a very slippery slope if you are not careful.
[2:25] Now, it doesn't matter where it kind of comes in, but this can happen in any area of your life, whether we're talking about relationships, whether we're talking about like work, job, career, it could be around money and finances. It can even be in your health because, you know, sometimes, and I have also been in this position of, I know I should be looking after my body more healthy and because I'm not 100% happy with where I am with the health, but, you know, this is not working for me. This is not exciting for me. I'm just not sure what to do, what's next for me health-wise. Therefore, I'll stay where I am. And to be honest, that was actually me with my health like a couple of months ago. Thankfully, I'm over that because I've literally done these exact steps. So, what is this? Where does this come from? Where does this affect us?
[3:20] And the best way to describe this for you is that if we are viewing our life and we're hitting that point of where we would like change, sometimes what happens is we let our mind attempt and try to work out what the next step is or what the solution is.
[3:45] So, for the premise of this episode and to really help take you through the understanding of this, let's just use a job or work, for example, because it's something that's universal to all of us. And I think we've all at some point encountered, you know, where we are in our work, our job, and we kind of just hit that point of, you know, it's not quite right, but if I'm not doing this, what would I be doing? So, in this example, this is where we allow our mind to start to go, okay, if I'm not doing this, what would I be doing? Now, the downside is, is our mind...
[4:28] Is trying its best to really find the solution. But when it's finding the solution, what's actually happening is it's trying to pinpoint a solution, so much so that it's really trying to define and give you this very, very exact answer. So, in the job example, For example, let's just say, hey, you know what, I'm a delivery driver and you're kind of going, the work hours are not great. You know, all of a sudden the traffic's become really bad and it's not fun anymore. Whatever the reason may be. So, you start to say to yourself.
[5:14] What would I be doing? Where do I want to go? What's next for me? If I'm not doing this, what's next? So, this is when your mind wants to kind of pinpoint it and it will start going, well, do you want to be a doctor? And you'd be like going, of course not because it's 10 years of study plus this isn't, you know, I'm middle-aged, that's not going to happen. But then you start going, well, maybe I could go and work down at the post office. Maybe I can go and do some retail job. Maybe I can go become a travel agent. Maybe I can do, you know, whatever it may be, a pool cleaner, car mechanic. whatever it may be. But what your mind is trying to do and what I'm trying to exemplify here is that it's trying its best to really find this pinpoint or pinhead of an answer.
[6:05] And almost every time your mind comes up with it, you'll find that it's like, no, that's not it. No, I can't do that. No, logistically, that doesn't work. Hence, like, no, there's a 10-year study. I love cars, but I've never really delved in it. No, that's not right. So all you're trying to do is you're going through everything that's within your mental capacity.
[6:30] So why is this a problem?
[6:34] The reason why this is a problem is because when you're only using your mind to try and find that solution or to help you to bridge that gap, you're only working within the constraints of what your mind knows. What I mean by what your mind knows, I'm talking about your conscious mind, the part that's really awake. And these are the things like that you know, like these jobs that you or, you know, positions that you are aware of, like you're consciously aware of being an accountant, mortgage broker, banker, whether then you could go into sports, going to be a physiotherapist or there's a whole bunch. But we know these things and we know them consciously. But quite often, when we are trying to find this solution, and our brain is doing its best to help us, our head's really trying to help us, but what's happening is when you're coming from this and you're looking for that change, you're coming from a place of dissatisfaction. And that dissatisfaction is not necessarily in your head. That dissatisfaction is deep part within you. That dissatisfaction is an actual feeling.
[7:54] So, this is where it becomes a problem and this is where you hit the bottleneck. So, if we look at, think of a better way of looking at it is, if you want to take the bottleneck analogy here, think of the, like an egg timer or the hourglass. So, on one side or one, on the top side, you've got a beautiful wide area which holds the sand. You've got the same kind of container down the bottom. However, in the middle is a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny little gap where all the sand must flow through. And of course, it will take its time. And this is what happens when we are trying to make a shift in our life. So if we're approaching or hit this bottleneck, we will really struggle with clarity. We will really struggle with, you know, the emotions. We will really struggle with moving forward. And again, that's what spirals us down. So, this is not a healthy thing. So, how do we look at this? How do we address this? How do we move on from this? And this is what I'm going to address and kind of help you. So, let's have a really good look at this. So, what's happening is that there are two versions that are going on.
[9:13] And the first version, which we just explored, when you are trying to make a change, whatever area of your life you're looking at, what's actually happening is you are looking at from a micro level. Okay, that's right, micro. And I want you to remember this, it's a micro. You are really focusing in. It's like having the microscope and getting down and trying to really pinpoint and label the exact thing. So the downside to going micro is that you will find that you're not being open to what else is around you.
[9:51] That's where your first problem comes in. the other one is is that you are only working with what you know and what you're looking at okay so you get blinded it's like having tunnel vision or you're being very limited and all of a sudden it's like yes now you're going off on a treasure hunt but you've got you know both hands tied behind your back does not help when you need to go digging so it's not a helpful thing when we are going micro. And the brain and your conscious brain loves the micro because this creates an element of control. There's another big penny drop right there. So, it's control that we're looking for. Because let's face it, if you don't like your job and you're looking for the next one, you really want to know and wouldn't it be amazing to know what your next job is going to be, now for example and i've done this many times when i've seen people like oh there's a change coming up and this is what's happening and i really feel like it's going to be based around you know xyz i've done that for people and they kind of go oh that's interesting no that's not really me and it's really fascinating because.
[11:08] It's not within their scope. To give you a real classic example, this is with a very good friend of mine, Natalie Summer. And she came to me and I remember sitting down with her and we went through the whole lot. Now, she's also a psychic herself. So, it was very, very interesting. And I remember speaking to her and saying to her that, you know what, I see you moving overseas. And I said, what's really interesting? I said, I see a lot of connection, but I said, there's lots of international connection. I said, not just where you're moving to, because I kind of sensed Hong Kong and that was correct. And I said, but I said, beyond that, I said, I see all these beautiful lines like stretching out to like America, Canada, US, Germany, Italy. Like I see all these different lines. And of course, Australia, New Zealand, I said, there's all these like energetic lines that are connecting with you in Hong Kong. And I said, there's a lot of like talking and I feel like you know you're getting online you're connecting with people and I said it's really fascinating too I said because I see you also writing and getting ready to talk and all these things anyway so at the time and I was obviously delivering all this it was very fascinating because you know it was wonderful and Natalie took it with grace and it was beautiful.
[12:29] Because we tatted a bit afterwards and it was fine she didn't mention anything and, And then when she moved to Hong Kong, about four or five months later, I remember I got an email from her and it was to apologize.
[12:45] And what was interesting is she's like, first, I just want to apologize because at the time when we were having that session, you were talking about me like being on computers, being online, talking to people, doing this one-on-one talking and then like bringing people together. Like talking to people for such guys i have to confess i honestly thought you were absolutely bat shit crazy i genuinely thought you were the worst psychic and this is the worst reading i have ever had that was her genuine words in the email i was like oh okay but of course then the paragraph after and i'm not sure but have you seen my new website and yes i had because i was on her newsletter and it was a beautiful website and it was all about her facilitating and helping people to really connect with themselves and do all of this and she says i can't believe that you picked up on this because at the time of the session like i just thought it was crap you were just spitting and spewing out absolutely just jargon. She goes, because the thing is, my passion, my absolute passion is food. I love food and I want to do something with food.
[14:11] And it was like, she goes, so when you were telling me all of these things about these different options, it didn't make any sense to her whatsoever. That's why she thought it was the worst reading in the world. So, I could imagine, you know, you can sit on the end of these things and you can have these opinions and insights too. But sometimes it takes things to eventuate. But the reason why I bring up this example, because again, it's about work and just having a look at where Natalie's position was, is because she was in that moment and she was looking for that next step. But she lent in to go this is what i love this is what i'm doing and this is where i'm going to go food and that was on her mind and i genuinely believe you know when she did a come to the session she was very much probably looking for this confirmation around i'm going to be doing something with food and that would have been wonderful her because it would have given her the confirmation. However, it doesn't always work like that. There's more for us to give. There's a deeper level for us to tap into. And at the time, because Natalie was in a micro lens, that's all she wanted to see and hear.
[15:37] Food, something with food, something connected to food. So, it was looking for confirmation about the next step around food. Lo and behold, nothing to do with food so she was very very surprised however she's like oh my god i'm the happiest i've ever been in a long time so of course we know that if we had that insight knew exactly what that job was it would make the transition a little bit easier however as we know that's not always what's best so this is where working with only your mind becomes the problem, So now I want you to take a moment and reflect. If you are at this bottleneck, you're feeling this stuck and you're looking for this, how much are you using and relying on your mind, your conscious mind, to help you to solve this problem?
[16:35] And I can almost say 95% of you would say, yeah, I'm trying to use my mind to solve this problem. But there's a problem with that problem. because what you're looking for at next is life. So, what you're looking for next and what's happening is it's at a different level of vibration and frequency from where you had the problem.
[17:06] So, you're not going to solve it. Your mind is now interpreting the dissatisfaction and saying, this is not good and you're feeling off. You're not feeling good about where you are. So, we need to start looking at what's next. And the thing is it's just interpreting that going let's find something because the current situation you're in your mind is like you're not enjoying this let's just move into something and that's why it will spit out any kind of idea or solution it can however it's trying to solve the problem at the same level of vibration as it came in that's the micro level okay so again that's that beautiful Einstein as you never solve a problem at the same level that you know it came in at so this is the same principle and this is what we talk about the micro so micro is not a very constructive or positive way to get yourself through the bottleneck through the stuck.
[18:14] So, where does the power tip come in? How do we do this? And it's simple. We go macro. Yep, macro. And this means, we zoom out. Okay. So micro, we are zooming in. Hence you're going, I need to be accountant. I need to be retail. I need to be travel agent. I need to be this, right? It's like very specific, very drilled down to the answer. That's it zooming in. That's the micro. But what we want to do, and what I suggest you give a go is zoom out.
[18:50] Don't focus on going to that level because it's, You're going to see only what you can see and what you've seen before, right? You need to be open to different things and different ideas because that's where the growth is.
[19:04] In this situation of Natalie, it's like you need to be open because there's going to be a different thing. It may not even be in your scope. You may have no idea what it is. However, it's there. And who's to say it's not going to be the best thing that ever happened to you?
[19:23] And this is what i want for you too so how do we zoom out on your current situation, so to get or access the macro part of your life and where you are in your particular situation maybe it's a problem wherever it may be we zoom out simply by not focusing on what the head wants to see so this is not about what you want to see or what you want to hear we have to tap into something greater, and how do we do this we do this through feta okay yes just like the cheese feta but this is f-e-t-a it's an acronym write it down this will help you i can tell you right now it's a game changer baby game changer once you understand this so feta is how we go macro feta feta feta FETA. FETA is better. That's what I always teach anybody who comes to work with me when I delve into this. It's FETA is better. That's how I help them to remind them. So, it is an acronym. So, FETA. So, just taking note of this, F means feelings.
[20:40] E is emotions. T for thoughts and A for action. So, feelings, emotions, thoughts, actions. Feta. And that's where Feta comes in. This is what Feta does. So, Feta helps to realize and helps us to remind us which way to come in or tackle this bottleneck. So, instead of like delving in, go, I need to find this job. I need to do something with food, that's an A. That's action first. You're looking to really kind of go in on that level because it's going to make you feel like you've got some sense of purpose. This, if you've got that, fantastic. However, to bring it out and zoom out, we work with the feelings first. And this might be a new concept for some of you, but please heed me out, heed my words give this a go. So, when we have a look at this, right, When, how do you tap into the feeling side of things about where you're wanting to go?
[21:52] By zooming out. That's how. So, we're going to start looking, like, so, for example, going back to delivery driver. Oh, my God, the traffic's so bad and I don't want to deal with traffic. Beautiful. So, the first feeling is it needs to be easy and maybe I'm looking at this and going, I don't want to feel stressed driving to work or driving for my work. So, see how we can bring the feeling into that? It's like acknowledging how we want to feel in that space.
[22:23] You might be talking about the environment of your workplace. So, for example, you might be an office or a warehouse or somewhere where you have team members and let's just say there's quite a few of them. But you might be going where you currently come from like, oh my God, it's just like no one's friendly. Everyone's sad. Everyone's down or it's like just maybe crabby. and toxic for whatever reason. So, you can then zoom out on that and have a look at the next step and then say to yourself, I want it to be happy. I want it to be supportive. I want people to connect. I want a good team. I want to feel like a part of the team. So, hopefully through these examples you can start to see we view it differently so don't look for the job don't look for the job title or what the job directly involves look and zoom out and start going well how do i want to feel in these certain ways in the job that i will find.
[23:29] That's how you zoom out. That's how you work with Feta.
[23:34] That's how you work with your feelings. Your feelings will be like, cool, I want it to feel easy. I don't want to feel stressed. Then your emotions are going to be like, I'm going to have gratitude every morning. I'm going to feel alleviated and excited when I kind of go to work. I'm going to feel supported, whatever, like extra feelings. These lead to thoughts of like, then I feel supported and I want to contribute more. This is what I'm looking for. then this starts to lead you all to the action part. And this is going to help lead you to where you need to be. No different to Natalie in wanting to work with food, then all of a sudden becoming a mentor, connecting with people, holding retreats, which included her food cooking, by the way. So, she did get that in there. But there's these beautiful elements, but it's by opening that mind the reason why if we can open our mind that way we can then start to see and we will become aware of different opportunities that we normally would not be so that's how we start to get over the bottleneck you work feta you work with the
[24:49] macro not the micro now if you're not careful.
[24:53] You will ATEF yourself. Yep, ATEF. A-T-E-F. That's fetter in reverse. It's upside down. You'll do actions first, thoughts next, emotions will come, feelings flow after that.
[25:07] I can almost guarantee you now, if you're listening to this episode and this is resonating with you and you are at a bottleneck and you're feeling stuck and you're looking for that next step and you're looking for that clarity on the next step. You are already ATEFing. Yeah. It's almost like I say it's like, you know, the good old you're fucking yourself over. ATEF.
[25:28] ATEFing. Stop ATEFing yourself because your actions are frustrating you. You're doing something. Like anybody, especially around job, and it's like they're not happy, just the action of continuing to go to that job leads to, I hate this place. I don't like it here. I don't like this person. and oh my God, like I never get time for my lunch. Your thoughts start to completely go into a negative direction, leading to negative emotions and leading to deeper, harder, heavier feelings of like and then it starts to express itself physically. I'm tired. I'm lethargic. I've got headaches. I'm stressed. My muscles are tight. Whatever it's going to be, it will start to express itself. That is ATEFing, baby. be careful right we do not want to atef we want to reverse that and fetter if you're not sure i always remember just remember that you're atefing yourself and atef honestly sounds like a government institution does it not like dea fbi asio asic order a triple c it's like if you're atefing you're in a government bureaucracy mental bullshit mental bull crap you do not want to be in your head and fighting with all these different thoughts and trying to butt your head up against all these different things. That is ATEF.
[26:56] When you feel like you're in that space, hopefully now you can simply go, right, stop, take a breath, realize you're ATEFing, and then breathe it out.
[27:13] And then literally go, right, let's reverse this. What do I want to feel? You know, how do, what emotions are coming up and where do I want to be? This is leading to more positive thoughts. And if you can find this and if you're fettering correctly, here's the key. The flow will come. You will find once you hit the right vibration and frequency when you're using fetter and you're zoomed out and you're using the macro space. Boy oh boy will you open up the floodgates of understanding what you're really wanting, that's how you'll know if you're really doing it now i'm going to point out a fact this is new for a lot of people this could be new for you that's okay and for that reason you can try this once and you might go i'm not sure about this that's gonna happen so just simply give yourself the time and the breathing room to practice and work with this. And that's where it starts. This is the power tip to get you across the line.
[28:28] Stop trying to do it with your head. Stop going micro. Zoom out. Macro this. Use FETA. Get into the feeling space.
[28:42] And that way, you're going to open up your conscious awareness. And all of a sudden it's almost like it becomes that beautiful heat seeker because when the right opportunity hits you whether it could be through word of mouth or it could be a simple maybe you're jumping on the job sites and you're looking through advertisements or it could be randomly picking up something or a facebook ad or linkedin or whatever it may be the thing is Now that you are more aware by using FETA, you will now have a massive and greater intuitive feel for what is right for you, helping you to really take steps to change your current situation. And that is something that I want for every single one of you that is listening to this episode. We have all been there. We have all felt stuck. We have always wanted to traverse the gap, make the chains, but we're not sure where or how. That's okay. But now you have a tool. Use this tool. Lean into this tool. Practice with this tool. Zoom out, macro, fetter, work from there, and then allow the flow to come.
[30:08] That is how you're going to get over this. And I really, really do hope that this resonates with you. You may need to come back and listen to this a couple of times. That's okay. But I promise you that the more you lean into this, the easier it becomes and the more powerful it becomes.
[30:28] It is a real, real game changer. And that's why I wanted to share with you. And I'm hoping that this will help you in your moment right now. So thanks for listening. I appreciate it. And of course, if you need any help with it or you've had a breakthrough with this, love to hear us. Hit me up on the socials, DM me, email me, or even if you want, use good old speak pipe. Leave us another question. If you're not sure we want some clarity, more than happy to have a follow-up episode. But I just wanted to share this and help you to get through that bottleneck. Well, that's it from me. And I look forward to catching you up on the next episode.
