Peter:
[0:00] Hello, everyone, and welcome back. Well, today, this is going to be a super important and interesting episode.
Peter:
[0:12] And I have to admit, I'm here and I'm planning. And the plan only got so far because there is so much information where this can go and what we can offer. And I'm just like, you know what, let's just go with the flow. So, today, we have the absolute honor and privilege of being joined by Nicola Gulls here. She is from Northern Ireland, but has spent lovely, what was it, eight years in Australia at the time? I love the story about that. Wow, I've got so much to talk about. I feel like if we could just have a laugh, I can't wait. But the biggest thing is that Nicola is really finding her groove and her passion, which is so, so important. And this is why I wanted to get her on the Inner Power podcast because it is about helping highly sensitive and empathic women really start moving past, help get past the burnout, help understand the nervous system so there's no shutdown, there's no freeze responses and really helping to empower them to move forward in their life by understanding themselves. So, Nicola, thank you so much for coming. Oh, my God, what a topic. Cannot wait. It's so good to have you here.
Nichola:
[1:24] Oh, no, thank you so much for having me. It's an absolute pleasure to be here and connect with you.
Peter:
[1:31] It is, and just before we hit the record button, I had to ask, I was like, so, you've got your old business name, you're transitioning into this new business name, and I simply asked, so, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to mention the old, the new, the both? And you're like, well, it's happening. So, even just to start us off with, tell us where you are with your business names because I always find business names are important in terms of energetic identity, vibration and frequency that we're putting out there, which I know you understand and appreciate. So, and just even walk us through like even where you're coming from, what's the change, what's led this to you?
Nichola:
[2:13] Yeah, thank you for asking. I actually thought that you were asking me about my maridmium because I'm transitioning with that also.
Peter:
[2:21] Well i you threw that me with i think i've got one name on the list here and then we've got one name on on the on the studio i'm like okay well which with this is transitioned episode let's let's get into it yes.
Nichola:
[2:35] Lots and lots of changing so my.
Peter:
[2:38] My name previously.
Nichola:
[2:39] Was nicola mcdonald my My name is Nicola Goyes.
Peter:
[2:45] My previous...
Nichola:
[2:46] Goyes.
Peter:
[2:48] It looks like an L on my screen. That's why I'm sorry. You threw me. You did. You threw me. I'm like, this is not what was on the list. I'm like, what am I going with? Sorry, everyone. It's Nicola Goyes. Okay.
Nichola:
[3:01] Yes.
Peter:
[3:03] I'm glad I threw the plan of this episode out the window. You're testing me. You're testing me every step of the way. I love it.
Nichola:
[3:10] So I'm just transitioning with that also. I keep forgetting that I am married. That's my new name as well. So...
Peter:
[3:23] I love the way you're just so honest and blunt. I'm married. Oh, that's right. Different names. Yeah.
Nichola:
[3:30] Like, oh, yeah, I have a husband.
Peter:
[3:35] Who's this random tall, dark handsome stranger walking through the hall? That's right. He's mine. He's a keeper. I love it. So we're transitioning in names.
Nichola:
[3:49] We're transitioning.
Peter:
[3:49] In business wow change everywhere.
Nichola:
[3:51] Lots and lots of change so when i first started out um i had designed it as a very very spiritual so it was the the sole signature and but me being really self-doubting on myself and feeling that not many people would come to me for counseling because i'm a therapist i i changed a name to conscious connections counseling, So recently, I just sort of thought, well, I'm just going to combine the both rather than having them separately, you know, spirituality and therapy, because they both are me. And I sort of thought, well, combining them together is going to make it a lot easier for me. And it's going to bring the people in who I really want to support. So at the moment, I'm changing everything up and it's going to be called Healing Wildflower.
Peter:
[4:47] Healing wildflower. Love it. Why a wildflower? Where was the inspiration behind that particular name?
Nichola:
[4:53] So with a wildflower, it can, you know, stand harsh conditions,
Nichola:
[5:00] but it still grows absolutely beautifully out in the wild. And it doesn't matter how many challenges that it goes through, you know, it'll still bloom, it'll still transform. And that's the same with healing within ourselves as well.
Peter:
[5:16] Oh, my God, we should have led with that. No, with that, that is beautiful. That is so, like, it is poetic on purpose, but I love it. That is, because it's so, so true. And I think in nature and when you, even as you're saying that, I was picturing certain wildflowers and I was like, you know, it's amazing how nature, it doesn't matter how, what, what, they will find a way. It finds a way to keep going. it finds a way to bloom, it finds its way to find its place in the world. Oh, beautiful. I love that. That is so, so powerful. And it's interesting because you start off, you're saying you were doubting people would want to connect with you. Is that right?
Nichola:
[6:01] Yes.
Peter:
[6:02] What? Out of curiosity, where was that coming from?
Nichola:
[6:06] I think I had a lot of healing to do myself. I feel like I hadn't gone through everything that I needed to go through in order to be in a place where I can really authentically show up for others. I had gone through a lot myself, but because I've had a lot go on in my life, it just wasn't to the place that would have been ready for other people.
Peter:
[6:32] Wow, that is so authentic and vulnerable and honest. You know, how many people would even avoid acknowledging that within themselves?
Peter:
[6:41] I think that's just a testament to like everything that you're stepping into. And I think, you know, all jokes aside about the change and the transitioning, I think, you know, it just really does sound you are genuinely really coming in to your own like your own self your own mission your own purpose you know it's just like it seems like everything's starting to bloom for you and now here you are and you're really focused now does this focus on helping you know especially highly sensitive women and empathic you know women, helping them with burnout. Why specifically that level, that type of energetic, like the highly sensitive? Because I always believe we're all sensitive, but it seems like you're really focused on the highly sensitive, which I do understand and appreciate. But I feel like there might be some people or some listeners that they might not understand like, well, what's the difference between sensitive and highly sensitive and why highly sensitive people? So can you possibly break that down for us?
Nichola:
[7:51] Yeah. I didn't believe that I was highly sensitive. I always believed that I was a very strong, independent woman and could do a lot for myself. But when I realized that I was highly sensitive, it really, really supported me in my healing journey. Because it's not just emotionally highly sensitive. It is being highly sensitive with noises, such as if I am highly stressed out and I am over my capacity, even a tone of voice from someone who I love, you know, if it's a little bit higher, can really dysregulate me. So even knowing that about myself I can also ask them hey this is where I'm at you know can I give you a sign that you know I'm so dysregulated that you need to bring that tone down a wee bit for me to support my regulation so it's clothing as well you know there'd be clothing yes clothing so there'd be feeling of clothing that if you are dysregulated that the feel of that will dysregulate you even more. There's smells, there's lightings, there's so many things that can actually dysregulate a highly sensitive nervous system.
Nichola:
[9:10] And highly sensitive people are more prone to burnout than anybody else because their nervous system is just more in tune with everything that's going on with their environment. You can pick up if you know someone has changed their hairstyle just a little bit or even a friend of mine had got her nose pierced recently and i.
Peter:
[9:34] Was like oh.
Nichola:
[9:34] You got your nose pierced you're the first person to recognize this my family see me every day and they didn't even recognize that.
Peter:
[9:44] That i think there's there's more alarm bells going on there about the family not recognizing that but you know but it's interesting and it's like and it's interesting how like you describe that i think that's a really a wonderful way to help people understand because it could be so.
Peter:
[10:01] Easily misunderstood or completely like i'm looking for the word it's almost like you know you flippantly just you know go oh you pass it off as nothing or is that you know you might be, overreacting or it's like that's something about ourselves and i you know that could also come down to a lot of conditioning from, you know, it's like, you know.
Peter:
[10:22] Sometimes growing up or you have certain social situations like, oh, what are you worried about or get over yourself or whatever, then we are kind of then forced to withdraw or shut down, so to speak. But whereas now you're saying like, no, like this is helping you be aware that
Peter:
[10:43] this is a natural thing for you. And I think that's so empowering. Now, you mentioned, like, people who are highly sensitive, obviously more prone to burnout, but... Now, because you've just really enlightened my world about a whole different array of highly sensitive aspects for people. So, I'm now like, wow, so what's burnout looking like for a highly sensitive person? Because I'm like, I didn't even know any of half of that, like clothing and senses of smell and tones of voice. I know I can get agitated, especially when I'm super tired. I just put that down to tiredness or me having a big energetic day. But if this is happening, on a daily basis, does burnout for a highly sensitive person look different from an average person who's not as sensitive?
Nichola:
[11:36] It would be similar, but it might take a little bit longer to come back from it. This might be where we don't really understand ourselves fully to the point of, oh, my nervous system is a little bit different than other people, that I have to do things differently for myself. I really have to put in extra level of self-care in order for me to be regulated. And for me, I'm an extrovert introvert, and that in itself can be quite confusing. If anybody falls into that category, this is where you strive on being around people, but you really need your alone time to recharge. And if we don't do that, then we're just going to slowly go down and if you have other identities as well which is the human giver you know the overachiever the inner critic if you have all of these identities as well with inside of you then are you talking to.
Peter:
[12:36] Me directly because i'm like i'm literally just like i'm like i'm ticking the boxes here like.
Nichola:
[12:42] Oh yeah is this.
Peter:
[12:45] Gonna be therapy for me like right now it's like you You know, when you're having a moment going, hang on, this is all too very close to home right now. I'm like, I understand all of this. I'm like, you know, because I always only just found out about the introvert-extrovert aspect of things. And Alex Pipos, I don't know whether you saw him through the group with BBD that we're in, but I had the privilege of connecting with him. And he's like, you're an ambivert. And he goes, because you love being around people, but then I need my own self time. And that's a classic thing for me, especially because of all the energetic work that I do. Love doing it. Then I have the self-time. But then even though I have the self-time, I'm at points of like after enough of that in alone time, I'll be like, where's the nearest shopping center? Where do I see people? I need people now. It's almost like I just put that down to being a double Gemini. I thought it was an astrological kind of thing.
Peter:
[13:44] Now I'm finding out like, okay, there's more of this. It's going deeper. But yeah, I'm here. Then you go into the personalities. And so the three main personalities you're talking about there. So can you run us through them again? Sorry, because I interrupted you. Because I was literally having a moment going, are you talking to me?
Nichola:
[14:00] Oh, no, there's many different personality traits that can add to burnout.
Peter:
[14:04] Are you purposely pulling out the three that I have? I was like, one, two, three, because I don't, inner critic, it was the giver. And what was the other one?
Nichola:
[14:15] Overachiever. Then there's the perfectionist. You know, there's so many different traits that we can have that will lead then to burnout. And if we are highly sensitive and empathic, we are also picking up, you know, on the emotions of other people around us as well. So this is where it can get really, really confusing for a highly sensitive person. You know, does it even belong to me? You know, what's going on inside of me? It can feel quite chaotic. and if we're not realising this is who we are and accepting it, then it can take a huge, huge toll on us and it can be harder to bounce back then from that burnout once you get into it.
Peter:
[15:00] Now, this is what I've, like, honestly, like I said, the plan kind of got thrown out the window about, like, we're just going to see where this goes.
Peter:
[15:07] And this is huge. I love this. This is so important. I have got so many people in my world and especially in client world that really do struggle with that very thing of, like, I've had to tell them. And without like, I'm like, do you realize like you're actually really highly sensitive and you're starting to lean on the empathic side of this where it's just totally different. And they're like, what's that? What do you mean? And they obviously explain it to them like you have and they kind of go, oh my God, that makes so much more sense because they didn't even have that. But, you know, for me, that's the level that I can kind of educate them. But it's so true when you're saying it's very chaotic because you know especially with empaths then they're taking on everyone else's energy and then also mixing that with their own and that just kind of does become a mess and it's a struggle for them because they don't know what's theirs what's genuinely someone else's how to help someone else so you mentioned this is there any kind of like you know hint or tip you can help you know the listeners who would regard themselves to be in this category to help it make it not so chaotic a.
Nichola:
[16:28] Big thing um that i've noticed that works overall with any of my clients and any of the research that i've been doing is water water is absolutely amazing for everybody.
Peter:
[16:41] Okay wow okay i wasn't expecting that i'm all i'm intrigued i'm like okay do tell i think i can i'm not i feel like i'm gonna be a listener so i feel like i'm i can almost envision them listening to this going i'm glad page reacting this way because are you serious like what is what is the overall thing but let please do tell if it's if this this sounds good so i'll let's hear it.
Nichola:
[17:03] Water seems to be quite cleansing for the soul of highly sensitive people and impasse so even just being around water walking near the beach you know swimming whatever it may be every person that i speak with that comes out of water feels that it has cleansed them from whatever it is that they have been holding on to and they're able to reflect of oh that possibly didn't belong to me or yep that's mine what can i do with it.
Peter:
[17:33] So it not just cleansing but there it brings a level of clarity it seems, water and this i'm like i've got pennies dropping like because i know for a fact that when i was going through very very tough time very dark time almost to the point of like okay you know i might be checking myself out here and you know it was a really really kind of tough time because you know things just weren't working out for whatever reason and it was at that point i don't know what, happened in terms of the shifts or what kind of but all I all I know for a fact is one day I decided that I'm going to be waking up early and I'm going to be going to the beach at sunrise, for whatever reason wherever that came from do you call that divine whatever it was it was definitely a prompt but I can tell you right now that changed my life like walking on the beach for almost every morning for a good three months.
Peter:
[18:37] And I know I went down there and it cleared my head and I did daily gratitude and I just felt my energy shift. And even for me, like I put it down to, and it's such a, again, like, and I'm glad that you've mentioned this because I don't know how many times, like I have mentioned this story to quite a few of my clients and I say, just try it. And they kind of go, oh, that sounds too simple. That sounds too easy. You know how he builds stuff up to be harder than what it is? But I'm like, but no, I'm like, guys, seriously, like if you just do that one thing, your whole day will change. And if you can change one day and change the next day, all of a sudden your life is changing. And that's exactly what happened. And I will never forget those moments. And I know for a fact that the two things that really help clean my mind, those walks on the beach or it's fishing. And what's the common denominator there? Hmm, interesting. Water. So, it makes so much sense. Have you found any interesting kind of correlations in your research as to why water? Or is it literally just the connection to that where water? Is there anything specific that you found there?
Nichola:
[19:52] Now that you mention it about us being water, I don't know if you've heard of Dr. Emoto. He's a Japanese scientist. He is absolutely wonderful with the research that he has found. But even recently, I had found even more to do with water and how intelligent it even is. So if anybody doesn't know about Dr. Emoto, he grabbed water particles and he would have sent vibrations with words such as luck or hate. And he would have froze them and put them under a microscope. Any that had a higher vibration, it'd come out in a beautiful crystal form, as were any with a lower vibration didn't. It sort of came out quite strange. and this is what happens with us when we're speaking to ourselves or how we view the world because we're mainly made of water but recently what I had found was someone was also doing these tests but putting photographs or putting you know such words for it to form different kind of you know photos within the ice but they had actually put in their thumb and the thumb had the ice had actually designed, you know, a picture of their son, but it had a cracked nail. They didn't have a cracked nail at the time, but they got a cracked nail three hours later.
Peter:
[21:20] Oh. So what do you put that down to?
Nichola:
[21:25] The water must know way, way more than what we consciously know in our minds. It's knowing something way before. There was someone I had even encountered listening to on Gaia. I'm so sorry, I don't even remember their name. But they were actually looking at blood samples. I know that they were shunned within the medical community. So they had to move to Mexico. And this is where they were able to tell by blood samples when people were going to break arms, you know, way, way before it even happened.
Peter:
[22:00] It's amazing. Honestly, we're just scratching the surface and the tip of the iceberg with so much of this stuff. And like, see again, I love it. There's another podcast episode we could get down there, but it's just like, I'm just looking at it. Well, bring it back. It's like, right. Like, I'm like, my mind is racing a million miles an hour in a good way. But I'm looking at this going and it's like, but your thing is obviously around helping to regulate, you know, your client's nervous system. And it's like, when looking at this, it's like, do you want to explain to us what's happening for the highly sensitive empathic person and the nervous system and why it's important to regulate?
Nichola:
[22:48] Yeah. So this is for anybody, but for highly sensitive people, if they're going to work on their trauma, they go into a trauma-informed approach right away. That can just re-traumatize them and dysregulate their nervous system so much more. And I hear that a lot with people. And then what can happen is when you're so dysregulated, it can lead to health issues. So there's so many physicians out there, such as.
Nichola:
[23:18] Dr. Julia Spenza, you know, Gabor Mate, you know, there's Dr. Amy, I can't remember her last name, but they were all physicians and they had noticed that a lot of people was coming in to see them to do with mental and emotional concerns, but it was showing physically for them. So somebody who has a dysregulated nervous system, then they're going to show more signs, more symptoms you know more health issues and we will always tend to look at supplements you know and food and you know all of these things that I've done myself I've been there I'm glad I've done it because it supported my life but the one thing that I didn't really want to look at too much was to look at my trauma and that was because of the fact that the people who I had worked with previously weren't actually supporting my nervous system first before actually going into it so when when we have a regulated nervous system we're in a safe place to be able to go through the trauma so it doesn't re-traumatize us and that we're able to process it in a way that we can overcome it and that we can actually be in a place where I've accepted it I've let it go and I'm not letting my emotional attachments towards that impact my life I'm changing it I'm changing everything with inside of me, that it doesn't matter what happens outside anymore.
Peter:
[24:45] I love that. And I think, you know, I talk a little bit to my clients about that and you mentioned a really important word, the emotional attachment that comes with that. And I think, you know, that's almost like the invisible enemy for us on many things because it's like that, you know, I know some people talk about like, oh, you know, I've got energetic hooks and things like that. And I think it's all like external. And I'm like, I think you really need to look at the hooks inside yourself because we carry them with us. And it's like when we have an emotional attachment, it's always like it creates a little hook inside of us and it just sits there. And it's like, and we're not mindful of that or we don't bring our awareness to that.
Peter:
[25:27] What's it going to do to us, not just emotionally, but what's it doing to us energetically? Like these are really like, you know, very potent questions. And like I said, I love where today's society is taking us, you know, with some of the beautiful leaders that we have in this world going, hey, we've got to start looking at the emotional health here, not just, you know, we talk about physical health, we talk about mental health, but it's almost like, but where's the emotional health? And i really feel like that's going to be the next you know phase in that and i just feel like you know you're also going to be you know leading and going being a pioneer because you're now going i don't want to separate these things the spiritual the energetics the counseling it's all kind of connected and so and this is a dream of yours just to really kind of bring this together, and you're doing it if not you're in transition you're in transition but you're making it happen.
Peter:
[26:20] So, but I love where it's kind of coming from. And so for you, just out of curiosity, what's your, what is your really big vision for yourself and your work?
Nichola:
[26:32] My big vision is...
Peter:
[26:34] Your big vision. I want the big one.
Nichola:
[26:36] The big one. It is people connecting with their emotions. Because as you'd say it yourself, that emotions are the biggest part of our healing. But none of us want to go there. Not one person.
Peter:
[26:50] That's what we are. We're emotional beings. But it's the last thing we want to look at. It's funny, isn't it?
Nichola:
[26:54] And I'll hold my hands up. I was an avoider. I would have avoided my emotions like the plague when I was younger. And it wasn't until I realized this is what I have to actually look at and with being highly sensitive and empathic there's so many emotions in there that is happening that we don't really understand you know where they're coming from we shut them down and we suppress them so much that it just comes out you know in other health issues and I can remember a wonderful lecture saying to me you know anything that you are pressing down you know it's a dis-ease within the body so it's going to come out one way and you know for me it came out with lots of health issues I had migraines I had frozen shoulders chronic fatigue TMJ tinnitus you name it you know there were so many issues that I had and I would have went down the path of looking at you know food and supplements and seeing so many other physicians and they're all fantastic but it just wasn't enough for me but it was actually looking at the emotions and allowing myself to be vulnerable allowing myself to cry whenever I need to when I get angry I let out the anger in a safe space you not with other people. It's my anger.
Nichola:
[28:19] So rather than feeling guilty and shame afterwards, if I've let out my anger on a loved one, we have all of these emotions then to deal with. No, I'll just go away and punch a pillow.
Peter:
[28:30] Scream underwater. I like that one too.
Nichola:
[28:32] Yeah.
Peter:
[28:33] But I like that. Good word of advice, take it out in a safe place because if you take your anger out on somebody else, you're going to have a trainload of emotions to work through. I love that. that's like a big warning sign like you know it's like one's enough you don't want any more so just take it easy be mindful.
Nichola:
[28:51] Yeah be mindful of your emotions you know work through your emotions in a healthy way and you know at the moment you know i'm working one-to-one but i'm moving towards having a membership having a group because see when i do groups with people the the energy the vibrations, the learnings, that connection with other people. It's just absolutely amazing when you see all of that coming to light and people heal so much more. And I'm also even in the realm of psychedelic therapy.
Nichola:
[29:30] And that is for people who have been through lots of complex trauma and it's where talk therapy hasn't worked, but it's not them really going into other aspects first. I wouldn't say go straight to the psychedelic therapy. I would say try a lot beforehand. Make sure that you are with somebody who understands you as a person, who understands that if you're not ready to go through something, that they're creating a safe space. Doing inner child work, shadow work, they're amazing to do for ourselves. And if that's not working, then it's going on to the psychedelic therapy because that in itself then can open up compartments within our mind that we can actually see what has happened to us from a completely different perspective.
Nichola:
[30:26] And that's where the healing begins. And I've seen so much healing with that already, but where I'm from, it's still in the trials. So it's not something that you can work with at the moment, But I know that there is places in the Netherlands that you can go to if that's something that you want to go to. But that will be down the track. I do want to have these retreats with women. Maybe not just psychedelics, but it could be. But it could be other retreats of really doing this inner work.
Peter:
[31:01] We can tell it's a big passion of yours and I can totally relate to what people don't understand. I think like having run groups and retreats myself, like some people get a little bit like, oh, like how many people are going to be there or I don't feel like this is going to, you know, it's not my thing. And I can totally respect that.
Peter:
[31:23] But until you have been like number one, a part of the group, and I can also tell you as a facilitator of a group if you're listening and you're questioning like the group aspect there is something truly magical about it there is something really magical about being in the group being vulnerable but you also see and learn you're not alone that is a huge thing because it's amazing i know i've been caught up with that no i'm not sure you've been nickel but like sometimes you think oh this situation is unique to me or you know no one's going to understand the pain or the experience that I've been through and even though they won't be able to explain it 100 like relate to it 100 but all of a sudden it's just that knowing and going wow they've voiced that how amazing they can talk about that and then all of a sudden it feels like it gives you permission to kind of go I can be vulnerable it's a it's a powerful thing and it's like you know so you know if you can get into it I know you look you're gearing up for it and I just you can see the passion I can't wait for that to happen for you when you get your own groups and And so, just getting to do it. But just when we're on that topic, it's like having a look at this and thinking about the person who's kind of going, well, it's a little bit like me on this episode, going, hang on, you're talking about me. I didn't realize this was me. Maybe I do have something going on here. What would be your recommendation for understanding or working through some basic steps they could do on their own?
Nichola:
[32:49] Awareness is generally the first place to start it's being aware of the traits that you have that maybe you know that aren't particularly working well for you yeah i.
Peter:
[33:02] Love the way you said that so politely quietly that might not be working well for you that was so very nice and polite.
Nichola:
[33:11] Yeah we all have them you know myself included you know we're we're all work we all We all do.
Peter:
[33:17] We all do, yeah.
Nichola:
[33:19] Just because I'm a therapist doesn't mean I'm immune to emotions and being off balance and being dysregulated and reacting.
Peter:
[33:28] That's called chat GPT. If you want that kind of therapist, it's called chat GPT. There's no emotion. There's no connection. It's like, you know, so I hear you. It's like, you know, it's like you'll go, I'd like to think that you're connected to your emotions. That'll be a good start, I think.
Nichola:
[33:45] Yeah. but a lot of people will push them away so what i tend to find is that you know this doom scrolling it's called where you will scroll through your phone because you don't want to look at what's going on in your mind or you don't want to look what's happening at your emotions but then there's other people will say i've got really healthy coping mechanisms you know i go for a walk but i put on headphones and i listen to music or i listen to podcasts and then i'll ask them are you doing that because it will regulate you or are you doing that because you don't want to sit with your thoughts and your emotions and go because i don't want to sit with my thoughts and emotions big.
Peter:
[34:24] Question like are you genuinely learning that or is it just a distraction again too because it's oh that is huge like again the awareness being honest about you know are you distracting or are you embracing or i don't know i just get tingles you know thinking amazing how many people have to now go okay guilty it's distraction it's you know i'm not looking at myself so if they get to that point and now someone might be listening going oh hang on, am i listening to this podcast as a distraction i'm not being aware of my thoughts If that's the case, hopefully you're learning something from this one. But if that is them and they're now getting that awareness is like, oh, wow, thank you so much. You've just made me aware that I am distracting. How does someone begin to shift that or how do they increase their awareness? Because I think that's a great place to start.
Nichola:
[35:22] Yeah. Journaling is wonderful to become aware of what's happening for us. And it's not even just journaling our thoughts down for the day. Is where we are free-flowing journaling. And this is brain dumping and it can also help with your sleep as well. So if there's a lot happening within the mind, it's just dumping everything out of the mind onto a piece of paper. And we can come back and we can look at it and see what was actually happening. And this is where we put pen to paper. We don't lift the pen until we're going to the next line. It doesn't need to make sense. There's no grammar, spelling, nothing. It's just everything is coming out of the mind and onto this piece of paper. And by doing that, when we reflect on it, we can see where we were in that space and time. because we're always going to have different perspectives, different moods.
Nichola:
[36:20] Everything's always happening in our lives that we're changing. You know, we're not the same person from minute to minute. We're not the same person when we are around loved ones or when we're on a podcast or when we're at work. You know, there's different kind of hats that we will always wear. And it's the same as with every day. So if we're doing that, we can become aware of what's happening with us in that moment. You know is it where we are blaming others are we blaming ourselves is there something coming up for us that we possibly need to look at so even someone recently i worked with there was a colleague that really really triggered them and their limiting beliefs that they have about themselves but when we got to change their perspective on that person that it's not that person you know they've got a lot to do with themselves but what's happening then with these triggers what's coming up for you that is highlighting that you possibly need to work on a little bit deeper and that in itself can be really beneficial but i know that there's a lot of people probably saying well oh when i find all of these out what do i do with them you know and it is inner work it takes time and patience i would love to give everybody a harry potter wand and you can wave everything great again, but you probably won't learn anything from it.
Peter:
[37:42] Really? Come on. I thought that's what we made for. Nah but i love that and i think you've like you know it's even really if i say you know it's really nice to hear you say those things because again i know those tools i can't over emphasize, the simplicity of the things that you're suggesting and i think people just dismiss it because i don't know whether it's like pure distraction or it's just like oh that seems so simple but it's like simple is always key i think and i always find you know the simpler it is the easier it is for us to kind of process and appreciate that i need to ask though because i know i know someone specifically who will be listening to this episode, and i know that there's going to be a question on their mind and a simple question because we have this little debate going on and hopefully you can help me here. When it comes to the journaling and the brain dumping, is it the same to do it or which one is better, doing it with pen and paper or doing it with computer or your phone?
Peter:
[38:58] Is there a difference? Is one better than the other? can you give us your thoughts on that.
Nichola:
[39:02] Pen and paper is always the best because it's helping your mind process it so much more and you have that connection with the pen in your hand you know it's the mind body connection so when we're typing it there's not a real sense and even through our handwriting there's meaning that comes from it as well i i haven't really fully got into all of how our our letters represent personalities and everything so you can even see with your handwriting you know it will change and that's with you know from day to day mood to mood as well but mine changes from sentence.
Peter:
[39:49] To sentence i actually have a family member who she's passed away now sadly but she actually did the personality writing and I remember when she did look at mine she goes, what is going on here? Like, there's like 16 different personalities coming on this page. And I'm like, I think there's a testament to all the different personalities that might be hanging around or I've channeled over the years. But she says she was genuinely in shock. She goes, this is so fascinating. There's like 16 different types of personalities on one page. I was like, so, but I love that. Thank you for answering that because I know that it's been a big debate between a friend of mine and kind of working through that. But I'm a big advocate for pen and paper. I personally love more parchment paper or recycled paper because, again, I've got a bit more of a texture or a feel to it. But that's just me being a little bit more – I love my stationery, so it's a little bit more precious to me. But I appreciate that.
Nichola:
[40:46] Because it will help the subconscious mind, you know, and this is the one that we want to work with. That's the one that we are not aware of. It's not in the front forefront. so we want to help that part of us to bring everything out so we can actually start changing parts of our brain it's rewiring that subconscious the the one that is our programming that we're unaware of you know we're we're in autopilot so that's that's the part that we want to be working with and doing that journaling writing is going to really ignite that part of our brain love.
Peter:
[41:22] It And to take us out for this, because it has been such an insightful and very informative episode, and it's been wonderful, and I can't thank you enough. And just to kind of sum up, if someone's here listening, if you have any last words of advice or inspiration from what would you like to say?
Nichola:
[41:41] Don't give up on yourself. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. By doing that how we we are doing this invisible emotional attachments but we're doing it to ourselves the biggest thing that i've noticed with a lot of people is that inner critic you know every single one of us has that inner critic and if you imagine speaking to other people like that the way that you speak to yourself would you have many people around i doubt it so it's it's noticing.
Nichola:
[42:16] It is just really noticing what we are doing to ourselves more than anything, because we can make the change. It might be a little bit challenging, but as you said, everything that we've talked about, some things are very, very simple in making those changes. Some things will be harder, but it's not pushing yourself to do all of the harder parts. It's getting yourself into a nice, safe place internally that you can hit those challenges. It's where, you know, I'll do this no matter what. You know, I know that I have to go through this because this is something that is possibly lingering on with me. You know, I have to go through this in order.
Nichola:
[42:59] For me to feel free and we all know we are all aware of what's happening it doesn't matter if we bury it in our mind you know it's always held within the body and the body is way way more intelligent than what this is this is our warning device in our home you know it is just letting us know things aren't going well um but it's listening more to the body moving into your heart listening to that heart space because the voice is a little bit softer than what this is and you'll always know the direction you need to go in even someone who i recently worked with i went through a lot of challenges and they were living in their mind so much i just kept getting them out of their mind out of their mind and into their heart and following what it is that they felt that was best for them and now they're actually getting what they want and this has been a lot of grief and loss for them but they're in a place now it's like i can't actually believe this is happening and all how i wanted it to happen so
Nichola:
[44:05] we can we we can create so much for ourselves so believe in yourself oh.
Peter:
[44:12] What a beautiful beautiful message so thank you so much and if anybody wants to find you or following socials from more advice where can they find you.
Nichola:
[44:21] Yes well it will be healing wildflower that's where i'm changing everything i i think that it will be healing wildflower official on on social media i'll have my website i'm getting it all changed up at the moment i'm speaking with somebody to help me because i'm not technical at all so i'm getting And all of that changed over and I am creating so much more for people. I have even got a meditation that helps with the nervous system to help get you regulated for the day, especially if you've had no sleep. It's going to support you to feel like you've had some sleep, but also help you to feel productive. It'll help you fall asleep it's it's just a really wonderful tool from a lot of research from, neuroscientists you know on trauma clinics and everything that has gone into it and i'm also designing and about shadow work and identities and you know our core beliefs about ourselves what these identities not comes with so look out for them there.
Peter:
[45:28] Are so much coming like i love it because you have so much wonderful knowledge and it's going to be inspiring getting it out there. I can see it. You're going to be an absolute rock star in this space moving forward. Getting ready to step up and own that space. Can't wait. And I know that this is definitely not going to be our last conversation. We're going to go deep on other topics as we're going to move forward. But again, just thank you so much for your time and your expertise in this field. And I know it's so helpful, so I can't thank you again. And thank you for joining us and sharing that with us. oh.
Nichola:
[45:59] No thank you so much for for having me here and i hope you know all these listeners got something from this today.
Peter:
[46:05] I'm sure they have so thank you so much guys check it out over at healing wall of fire with more stuff coming and you know if you want to reach out to her you can probably find her now you just have to remember at the time of this there's transitions you know she's remembering she's married she's remember she's changing size we're getting there so by By the time this probably gets aired, it should be sorted and you'll be able to find it there. But anyway, but again, thank you so much and I'll speak to you again soon.
